Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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