She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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