that's an acceptable place to lick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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