Me. At least after what I've been through.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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