im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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