I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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