apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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