dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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