Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize