Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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  (204): I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right? http://tfl.nu/emft
  Replies (9) Good night (991) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now

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  (321): just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now http://tfl.nu/uvwa
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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  (909): yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face http://tfl.nu/l391
  Replies (13) Good night (4932) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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  (907): is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk? http://tfl.nu/2ehj
  Replies (26) Good night (7061) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Since when is my name a synonym for head?

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  (908): Since when is my name a synonym for head? http://tfl.nu/s1ks
  Replies (40) Good night (3505) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

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  (864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume. http://tfl.nu/gbul
  Replies (53) Good night (1342) Bad night (5621)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating

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  (509): the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating http://tfl.nu/mu9q
  Replies (17) Good night (4395) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?

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  (817): I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/zuv6
  Replies (29) Good night (4645) Bad night (2116) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

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  (510): I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders. http://tfl.nu/3tbi
  Replies (73) Good night (6009) Bad night (2782) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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  (203): I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole. http://tfl.nu/9iug
  Replies (17) Good night (1243) Bad night (3126) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.

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  (215): Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me. http://tfl.nu/119t
  Replies (10) Good night (3108) Bad night (1377) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Circle of life?

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  (228): Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life. (601): Circle of life? http://tfl.nu/blw3
  Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (821)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  is that what this stuff is?

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  (810): if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you. (616): is that what this stuff is? http://tfl.nu/just
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (308)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair

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  (+61): I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair http://tfl.nu/4pnl
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...

  (206): View more from Washington

  They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then

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  (509): My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life... (206): They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then http://tfl.nu/4rxf
  Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (35)

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