the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize