I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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