Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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