i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize