Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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