you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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