we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I CAN MOONWALK!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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