no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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