All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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