You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize