billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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