Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday

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(520): Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday http://tfl.nu/ewfr

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

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(651): i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college http://tfl.nu/vjhh

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(816): View more from Missouri

Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

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(816): Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?! http://tfl.nu/jlrn

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker

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(617): I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker http://tfl.nu/yzaq

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(816): View more from Missouri

he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.

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(816): he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard. http://tfl.nu/weqf

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(517): View more from Michigan

Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.

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(517): Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls. http://tfl.nu/kswf

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(423): View more from Tennessee

pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.

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(423): pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards. http://tfl.nu/9pdc

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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(757): I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you. http://tfl.nu/6wwz

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(303): View more from Colorado

We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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(303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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(902): Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having? http://tfl.nu/d7ao

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(435): View more from Utah

Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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(435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~

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(724): GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~ http://tfl.nu/ka83

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina

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(267): All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina http://tfl.nu/o3rx

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(530): View more from California

that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

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(530): that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own. http://tfl.nu/8cpw

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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(908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz

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