so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize