Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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