I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize