whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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