butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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