There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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