last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize