I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize