are you so shy because you have an std?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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