just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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