I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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