you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize