you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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