And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize