A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize