To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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