Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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