I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize