Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize