He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize