I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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