What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize