Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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