Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize