We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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