I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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