If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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