I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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